Adventureland (2009) - Film Review
Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart Falter in Greg Mottola's Melodrama
Sep 7, 2009
Adventureland, released on DVD on August 25, 2009, is about as funny as Michael Richards' post-Seinfeld career. Distributed by Miramax Films, it may very well be the worse movie of 2009, and 2009 isn't even over yet.
The movie is so horrid that it makes 12 Rounds (20th Century Fox, 2009) seem worthy of the Best Picture Oscar. It serves as director Greg Mottola's follow-up to the super-funny Superbad (Columbia Pictures, 2007). And super-bad Adventureland certainly is.
The Plot That Goes Nowhere
Adventureland takes place in 1987. It tells the story of James Brennan's post-college-graduation summer. James, played by Jesse Eisenberg (Roger Dodger, The Squid and the Whale, Zombieland), has mapped out his entire next four years - a summer touring Europe followed by graduate studies at Columbia University. When his parents (Jack Gilpin and Wendie Malick) announce that they will no longer be able to fund his education, James is forced to work a summer job. The only place hiring is Adventureland, a local amusement park run by an offbeat pair, Bobby and Paulette (Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig).
James' life appears to have hit all-time lows, dealing constantly with puking customers and groin shots. Then he meets Emily "Em" Lewin (Kristen Stewart). The two instantly connect, but Em is already having an affair with married maintenance man, Mike Connell (Ryan Reynolds).
Starting to sound like a teenage soap opera? That's because Adventureland is a teenage soap opera, and it gets worse. The film is melodrama abound, junior high-style, when James instantly falls in love with Em. But gossip, family drama, and clique politics threaten the survival of their relationship before it can ever truly begin.
Oh, yeah. Amidst it all, everyone smokes weed.
Wait a minute. Wasn't Adventureland Supposed to be a Comedy?
There is almost nothing funny about Adventureland. Bill Hader (Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Year One) adds some brief moments of moderate humor in most of his sporadic appearances, but without him, the film would be completely lifeless. Even Ryan Reynolds (Waiting..., X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Green Lantern) lacked his usual sarcastic wit.
Instead, Adventureland submits viewers to Eisenberg's endless dribble about how he's so learned and how fate has cast him down. As the film's main protagonist, his drab character isn't remotely likable.
Opposite him is Kristen Stewart (Into the Wild, The Messengers, Twilight). No stranger to teenage soap operas, e.g. Twilight, Stewart hams it up as James' depressed, I'll-sleep-with-anyone-because-I-am-lonely-and-misunderstood co-worker.
Neither Stewart's nor Eisenberg's acting is all that terrible. They just sadly took roles in a misbegotten film with a misbegotten script, a misbegotten plot, and totally uninspired (and yes, misbegotten) direction. Did Mottola know Adventureland was awful but was just trying to cash in on his Superbad success? It sure seems like it.
Surely Adventureland Must Have Some Redeeming Qualities?
Nope. Nada. Zip. Watching the nude scenes with that big blue guy from Watchmen (Warner Bros., 2009) were more enjoyable. Adventureland slams viewers with a horrid eighties soundtrack, eighties fashion no one wants to remember, and eighties teenage melodrama without even having the typical eighties breast shot. It also functions as a long advertisement for marijuana legalization.
When Mottola thought to create Adventureland, he should have thought twice. When he saw the final product, he should have used the film for toilet paper. With a running time of 107 minutes (that feels like 207), Adventureland steals precious moments from its audiences' lives, moments that could be better spent doing, well, just about anything.
Forewarned is forearmed. Renting Adventureland would be a huge mistake.
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